The Conversations Continue

When I was first diagnosed, after doing a lot of research, one of the things that scared me the most was losing my ability to talk. I was frightened that I wouldn’t be as close to my loved ones, particularly my kids, if I could no longer talk. It’s hard to believe, but in fact I feel even closer and more connected to my kids than before. A big part of that is because I am always available; when they talk to me, they know they have my full attention and that I’m not going anywhere. Lol!

Olivia loves to talk and it doesn’t matter the time of day.  She definitely keeps me up to date on what’s happening in her life. As a little one, Silas liked to talk, but as he got older he became a little more selective about sharing; he opens up when he wants to. When he was younger, nothing got him talking more than saying it was bedtime, and then I couldn’t get him to stop. 😉  To this day, Silas prefers to talk at night.

From the time the kids were small, I have encouraged them to share whatever is on their mind. Ask any question, no topic is off-limits. When the kids were around six and eight, we watched the entire Little House on the Prairie series on DVD. We have actually watched it almost three times through in its entirety, but it was the first time we watched that Silas had lots of questions.  For us, the show initiated conversations about racism, drug addiction, birth, death, bullying, friendship and faith, among others.  Oh, the memories!! 🙂

Alternatively, I have always shared with them too. If I expect them to open up to me, I must also open up to them. There was a time about five years ago, before my ALS diagnosis, that Silas and I were talking about dying. I am not sure how but the subject of funeral songs came up. I told Silas that I did not want any slow, sad hymns at my funeral, but instead had always thought that Green Day’s “Good Riddance (Time of Your Life)” would be a favourable choice. I played him the song and he agreed it was good. Apparently he forgot. Fast forward to a few months ago, Silas asks me, “Mom was the song you wanted at your funeral ‘Boulevard of Broken Dreams’?” Me: LOL!!!! Right band, wrong song.  I told him the correct song. Silas’s face was priceless when he replied, “Wow, am I ever glad I asked”. We laughed!!!

Since night time is usually when Silas wants to talk, I now keep my tablet set up beside my recliner, particularly when Silas is home, so I don’t miss any opportunity to hear about what’s going on in his life. I am so grateful that he shares with me. Sometimes he’ll sit beside me, perched on the arm of the couch and we’ll listen to his playlists of 80’s rock and take cringy selfies. 😉  Other times he has things to discuss or wants an opinion on something.  I don’t really care what it is as long as we’re spending time together. ❤️

Until next time…. xo