My Inspiration

I draw inspiration from many sources, but none so much as from my daughter.

Olivia was born into this world with a lot of uncertainty and heartbreak surrounding her. She immediately struggled to breathe as her airway was being obstructed by her tongue. She was immediately whisked from the delivery room, but not before I noticed the cleft in her eyelid and her tiny misshapen ear. I knew something was terribly wrong, but had no idea what. For several hours, our local hospital worked to find a children’s hospital that had space for her; plans were in the works for either Edmonton or Seattle, when a spot suddenly opened up in Vancouver. It was about 3 am when Olivia and Cory rode the ambulance to BC Children’s. I had to wait until the doctor made her rounds in the morning before I could be discharged. I obviously could not sleep, but prayed over and over for my daughter to live.

When I finally made it to the hospital, I saw my precious girl in her daddy’s arms, and I let out the breath I didn’t realize I had been holding. She looked so peaceful. I was elated. Cory explained how she had to be held on one side with her head tilted down in order to keep her airway open. The doctors informed us that Olivia had a rare syndrome called Goldenhar; it is characterized by a facial difference and either heart, kidney or spinal abnormalities. Olivia was shown to have vertebral anomalies, a cleft palate, a small hole in her eyelid, as well as missing both her left jaw bone and most of her left ear.

From the moment I saw her in the hospital I just knew that there would be no stopping her, and boy was I right. Olivia has undergone eight surgical procedures, starting with her cleft palate repair at nine months of age, and her most recent, teeth extraction, ten months ago. Despite all of the unknowns associated with surgery at her young age, she endured them all with bravery and resilience. Even the most harrowing of surgeries- her jaw replacement which involved harvesting one of her ribs and cartilage to create the jaw bone, was met with practicality. “I won’t be able to eat, so I’ll need lots of popsicles.” My girl understood from an early age that some things just were the way they were. She accepted her difference and it soon led to her uniqueness.

I have spent more hours than I can count, praying that Olivia will grow up confident and secure in who she is. When I said that heartbreak surrounded her birth, it was because I knew that she would not have it easy; she would be required to face battles that most wouldn’t understand. Kids can be mean and I wanted to protect her. I would not however, keep her sheltered. Sure, over the years she has experienced some not-so-nice people and comments, but her faith, her feisty God-given personality, as well as her protective brother and true friends, have all helped make Olivia’s journey easier. In fact, her love for herself and for life exceeds my greatest hopes.

In my ALS journey I admit to sometimes questioning, even complaining, “Why me?”, yet I don’t remember ever hearing these words from Olivia. She believes that God made her special for a reason, and I couldn’t agree more. Her teacher this year reported how confident Olivia was, and how much she helped others overcome their own insecurities. She even turned down the ear reconstruction surgery that was scheduled for this summer because she said that she doesn’t want to be like everyone else. “I like being different and I like my baby ear.”  We are fully able to request the surgery if she changes her mind, but for now I’d say she fully embraces who she is. 🙂

I am witness to the incredible qualities she possesses every day; her example gives me strength to face my own journey. She reminds me to take each day as it comes. A week after I was diagnosed she said to me, “Mom, don’t worry, when Jesus decides He wants you in Heaven, He will take you”. Simple as that. 😉  When I was feeling bad that she was tube feeding me, her response, “You tube fed me, now it’s my turn” and when I was feeling guilty that I couldn’t do her hair for dance, “Mom I have been doing my own hair since Grade 3, you wouldn’t be doing it anyway”. Alrighty then.

I could go on, but I think you get the point, my dear daughter is a role model to me for so many reasons. She is also evidence that God knows exactly what He’s doing.  I love you Olivia and couldn’t be prouder of you! xo